Table of Contents

page 1: 4 am

page 2: no such thing as perfect

page 3: dead on arrival

page 4: worry warts

page 5: temper, temper

page 6: bossy mcbitchface

CHAPTER 2: yip-yip ye fancy flights of doom

page 7: shove it on the waffle iron

page 8: fiddle fiddler crab crabapple

page 9: yeah, uh huh

page 10: bob dylan is not in portland

page 11: pessimism vs. realism

page 12: sob, fatty, sob

page 13: bite that waffle, face

page 14: tom and roseanne married their assistant.

page 15: children ruin everything.

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